Everyone has heard a noise while they are asleep and it incorporates into a part of their dream. The noise I heard turned my dream into a nightmare. It started off like the low moan of a sobbing prisoner. Then it crescendos into a violent wail of a screeching monkey being beaten.
I looked off my balcony to see that it really was one of Penelope's cats screaming to be fed. Penelope is the lady in the apartment underneath me, she owns a plethora of sly, slinky, and infuriating cPublishats. I keep a list of cats that will meet their demise with their last sight being my bright smile. I went and got a camera and took a picture of the ash tray gray cat and added it to the list.
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I was laying on my bed counting the rotations of my fan, as I had been for the past 2 hours. The wound on my hand was still throbbing and I was kind of afraid to leave my apartment after that Chik-Chaq fellow bit me. All of a sudden I heard a series of loud thuds. I thought this was a bit odd considering it was about five in the morning on a Sunday. i know it's odd that i was up that late, but i was all hyped up on Jack Daniels and caffeine pills. I got up and the thuds persisted, then came the rampant cursing that finally lead me to go next door and See what was wrong. I approached the door a little wary that maybe some kind of animal was loose in some one's room. I knocked on the door three times. The thuds stopped and I heard footsteps coming towards the door. The door knob turned and in the illuminated door-way was a groggy looking man with bloodshot eyes. "What the hell do you want?" he blurted out.
"I was just coming over to see if everything was OK...." I politely replied.
"It's those god damn cats downstairs. They won't stop scratching and meowing. I might shoot someone because of them...." He said with a kind of croak. "Well do you wanna come in or not?" He said sounding a little more than agitated at the idea.
"Oh.. uhhh... sure if it's not to much trouble, and if you don't hit me or anything..." I said only half jokingly.
I stumbled into his apartment, and quickly noticed that most everything was broken... and there were Advil bottles strewn across his floor, I was a little perturbed by all of this but decided I was tipsy enough to not really care.
"Sorry about the state of it... I just get so damn angry when I hear them, and that crazy woman will not let them in, they just sit out there and she throws cat food out of her door to them." He said popping a couple more pills.
"Maybe that's why her cat darted in front of my vespa a couple days ago." I said a little quietly as I felt the bandage on my nose.
"I'm going to do something about it but I don't really know anyone here." He said as he ran his hands through his hair.
"We could steal them!" I said laughing. We both began laughing a bit.
"We could kill them!" He said laughing, once again I started laughing with him.
Then we both looked at each other as our laughing subsided, the corner of his lips curled up into a half smile. I felt mine start to do the same.
That's when he and I decided to finally do away with those damn cats and piss the cat lady off.
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